Story Draft 2

This story will be told as if part of a much greater narrative that our protagonists are already part of when we join them. Its my hope this can mean skipping some essential details in the narrative and limit the amount of scenes I need like the first piece of the case; the event that caused it and any of the leads they would have taken before the point they are at. If I could I would include them but this is in the end a short animation. Those “essential” details that need to be brought up can be addressed by the characters themselves while they search the apartment and talk to each other, I know this could break the rule of “show, don’t tell” if not done right but at least, with this being a detective story, there is a viable reason why two people would be talking about things they should  already know so there is some leeway.


  • scene opens to an establishing shot of a city street, Nick [protagonist 1] crosses the street in the focus of the shot, a Bar [Deus Ex Machina].
  • we then cut to Nick as he stops in the entrance of said bar and scopes the area, hes eyes settle to the left where a couple stand looking him up and down but he ignores and moves past them.
  • he walks to a booth separate from the rest of the area and finds Ford sat smoking and drinking away alone. Nick tells him they have a new lead on the case but Ford ignores him, until he shows a warrant and gives the name of the place they can search.
  • we see them set off out of the bar down the streets, towards the outer parts of the city.
  • the next scenes opens on them knocking on the door of an apartment, once they know they wont get a reply, they enter, once again on the inside calling out for anyone inside. [shot follows the from behind as they wall into the apartment, the landscape and city in the backdrop of the apartments main wall composed entirely of glass]
  • scoping the apartment they go over where they could find evidence, highlighting locations that could be secret spots; behind the tv, paintings, under the table, the bedroom, cupboards, etcetera and then split to cover more ground.
  • as they try different locations, Nick tries to make conversation but only gets the occasional grunt or nod out of Ford unless it is details about the case. This goes on for a while until Nick is running his hands round a picture frame and feels a button, opening up the frame to reveal a safe.
  • they hack the safe, open it, and find a wealth of content inside, amongst it the evidence. [show their reactions to establish this]

Possible Extras

  • They time when the owner of the apartment usually leaves and comes back. They work against the clock, getting out just in time to avoid the antagonist coming back in, none the wiser.
  • A change in the dynamic of Nick and Ford and how they go about the investigation; Ford constantly moving around, checking everything like the photo frames, safes, etcetera and Nick just standing at the centre rambling about the case.


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